Don't burn it: How not to overestimate your New Year's resolution and plan sustainably
At the beginning of the year, we are all a little more inclined to believe in our superpowers, thanks to which we will fulfill all our New Year's challenges.
However, you have already convinced yourself that such a quick passion can die out very quickly and turn into apathy. So how to grasp the right end of planning so that your feeling of satisfaction lasts?
It's good to start by realizing that no date or time has more weight than what you decide to do with it . The responsibility to handle it more or less correctly is yours alone. And you don't have to do it according to the world's standards, but in the context of your unique story, within your own "why", according to your "how" and free "what" or "for whom".
Perfectionism
The reasons why we are so quickly exhausted and dissatisfied can be found mainly in the constant pursuit of perfection. Yes, each of us is created for order, which today is called "balance". But we should not confuse it with perfectionism.
Our feelings usually surf on an axis, where at one end there is overwhelm, which makes us want to vent something, and on the other side, there is a deficit, which stimulates the desire to fill it with something.
The pursuit of perfection, reflected in commands and prohibitions, tends to indicate that we are stuck in one of the extremes. Living constantly under a raised finger that dictates what we must and mustn't is exhausting in itself.
Maybe you say to yourself that all you need is to try harder (and it will work).
What if it's not about doing more, but doing it differently?
Start from yourself
Deciding to change is probably one of the easiest things, while making the change is one of the hardest. Well, wanting to change yourself is the result of some kind of misunderstanding.
How about replacing the desire to become someone with the decision to be someone. The person you want to be one day has already been inside you for a long time! In other words, you are already someone who has no competition, because there is no one with whom you can compare your uniqueness .
The opening section of our Journal is "Who I am". Among other things, you write down your strengths, values that are most important to you, and also activities that make you lose track of time and that are your passion. We guarantee that what you write in your Journal is unique and no one else has the same combination of strengths, values and activities that can (in a positive sense) absorb you. It's worth getting to know them, isn't it?
It would be a shame if, in pursuit of ideals that are placed on an imaginary pedestal by today's times, society, a popular motivational speaker, or perhaps even yourself, you distance yourself from yourself. Because the ideals that promise you ups and downs can be miles away from what is your own and ultimately what is ideal for you .
If fulfilling your ideals drains or frustrates you, it probably won't be very attractive and especially sustainable.
So what if instead of wanting to change who you are, you invest in changing the way you look at yourself and let your true Self speak to it?
The result of the change may be that you start something or, conversely, that you stop doing something. It's okay if that means taking away from your pace of life instead of adding more activities. It will be important that you do it with awareness and a decision that will be in line with who you really are.
If you want change in order to like yourself, you will almost certainly not succeed. However, if you want a change because you like yourself, it has a huge perspective.
If you know who you are (and if you don't, you can remind yourself of this by doing a Journal exercise), you have the best starting point and position.
Weak motivation
It needs to go somewhere deeper, to the real reason for which I decide to do or not do something. Try to answer where your motivation really lies.
- What is behind the "I want this" feeling?
- What drives you to move forward?
- What drives you to push your limits?
- What can take you out of your comfort zone?
- And what exactly is your eye fixed on?
Maybe it's a look at the gap between your current and ideal self. Maybe it's the goal itself and the associated reward. By the way, what is she supposed to be?
If you need, create time and space and help yourself with whatever you want. For example, also the Decade, which you can find on the opening pages of our Journal method. From our point of view, this is a key exercise that will significantly help you answer several of the questions posed above.
The power of your why
We live in an age where you can google a tutorial for everything. Instructions "how to do something" come to us even without us looking for them. "How to lose weight, how to start exercising, how to start a business, how to package someone, how, how, how..." But why?
As soon as you are clear for whom you are doing this or that, it is appropriate to reveal the why behind it.
If we talk about the fact that you are unique, it also means that serial advice, instructions and tips do not necessarily apply to you.
Ask:
- Who decides what I do (with my time and energy)?
- How does what I do reflect my values?
- What sense do I see in trying to do...?
- What does success (in this or that) mean for me?
- What does my why look like in different areas of my life?
- How does what I do affect me and my surroundings?
Prevention
Before you start tackling or achieving anything, it's great to invest in "gear" that works in your favor.
If you know yourself, listen and know what you need, you will achieve the primary goal, which is a meaningful life or a life full of meaning .
The main role is played by receptivity.
Let's illustrate it with the fact that if you want to grow plants, you need to know what kind of environment and conditions are beneficial for them to grow and bring pleasure or fruitful gifts of the earth. How much more is this true in self-care.
Today, the topic of psychohygiene is inflected everywhere, and you know that you cannot go one hundred percent without it.
The question is, do you accidentally place high demands on your rest as well, which ensure everything but the right movement, which is so essential for your health?
From self-denial to respect
Maybe you prefer walks in the fresh air to sweating on the treadmill. Maybe you'd rather cook a quality home-cooked meal than order a salad from fast food. Maybe you don't need to fight your procrastination forever because doing things at the last minute suits your creativity.
Finding out what really benefits you cannot be found elsewhere than in your own experience . True self-care needs to come from a respect that honors your individuality.
It is important to take care of enough nutrients for every area of your life.
Ask:
- how am i doing today
- How does my body feel?
- What is my soul experiencing?
- Is there something I'm currently missing?
- Is there anything I need now?
- What can I (for what I need) do?
So how not to burn it?
If you are serious about your self-development, it is very important not to get carried away by the crowd's New Year's euphoria, but to plan with your own personality and needs in mind. Each of us is completely unique . Try to get to know yourself as best you can and think about your own "why" with each new goal. It's also important not to overdo it with the pursuit of perfection - it's an endless struggle that is exhausting in itself. Don't forget about continuous receptivity and treat every area of your life with enough care throughout the year.
If you want to improve yourself even more in sustainable planning, you can find all the practical advice in the ebook Don't burn it , which was written for us by the great psychologist Kristína Mydliarová.
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